It has been a lousy day of lousy proportions. I am still caught up in this image of how an ideal world of mine would have looked like and all the expectations that I set up for myself, expectations which bear more similarities to day dreams than any reality that is on the ground. The Other Fish in my Piscean world wants to escape into the glittering, shimmery surface where the sun kisses the water tripping to hug itself. The other fish wants to continue, where survival is ensured, where it knows it can breathe and where the dream of breathing might mean the end.
There are so many issues that my mind rakes up, about this impending move. The problem I realize is the lack of an absolutely clear direction. The boy is going on a prayer too, but he atleast has the bread crumbs that lead him to his gingerbread house. It is frustrating. The lack of viable options, the dearth of any good motivations except for “Family”. I love my family, I would give my arms and legs for them and ask “what else?” but I also realize that after all the fun..fun..fun of us moving back ends, the daily grind awaits and that is what I fear.
The implet is happy. There are boxes to play, old forgotten scraps of paper and cloth are pouring out. He is given a free reign to run around and climb as many stairs as he likes..he goes around laughing to himself and loving his little corner in the world. Like his father exclaimed “His smile is so much bigger than him”