The house is quiet. The moon is out humming a song, while the stars form the chorus line to the gentle lullaby. I have rediscovered the warmth and comforts of having a night life. There are so many things running in my head. Sometimes the thoughts that I push away during the day time come back without much resistance. It feels like they are tumbling out of some closet in my head. Sometimes it is a relief to have some place to put it all out, atleast with the knowledge that there might be someone out there who may share my view on.
I have a cousin who has found his voice and is strongly against female infanticide and foeticide. It is a noble cause. The reason he has suddenly found his mission in life though, is because of not being able to find a girl in these past 2 – 3 years. He does have a point. I mean when the ratio is so skewed that men from Haryana have to import brides, one for 2 or 3 brothers all the way from Kerala, Tamilnadu, it means that there is a serious problem in the country. That will be another post though. One of his problems is the dreaded horoscope match and absolute lack of reality from both sides. I keep telling him the era of Rambha and Meenakai (Apsaras in Indira’s court) is over. Who the hell is going to convince the girls that their Darcy will remain on their bookshelves. I seriously don’t understand how horoscopes help. I hear answers like “Oh, they help in thinning the crowds”..I mean seriously??! When a father can change his daughters date of birth to help her get a clean horoscope, it shows you how much these things can be trusted. There is absolutely no scientific evidence that they help in any way, that a girl or a boy with a slightly tainted horoscope will have miserable life or otherwise. Miserable is what people make out of their live or what they let others do to their lives, horoscopes can’t do that. Why can’t people get married in the tried and tested method, like I don’t know talking, getting to know each other. Then there are the parents. I understand family pressures, coming from a huge family I know what it is like to feel judged and be judged for every little decision, but why impose that insecurity on to the kids. Either give us the independence that you want us to have and let us make our own choices, or don’t teach us anything. Parents can’t have it both ways, I am sorry. I know this will come to bite me in the ass some day, but I will stick by it for now.
My aunt is a divorcee and my cousin has a sister. That’s it…there are times though, when I want to scream that they are not lepers. India can be called a developed country when people move away from the road to give way to ambulances and fire engines and stop treating divorcees like third class citizens. I understand the curiosity to know more, but let’s be clear, the girl or the parent asking about why they divorced or the whereabouts of the father in the first few visits..totally not cool. I am all for girl power and equality and everything, but shouldn’t there be a limit on what you can brin into a marriage and what you cannot. I understand when a girl says she wants to work, have her own account and everything. I also understand when the girl says I want to take care of my parents and be near them. Then, they go on to ask how my aunt and sister are supported and how much my brother pays to take care of them and will they become a burden. WTF!!! Hell..did’t you just say you wanted to take care of your parents. I am serious..this is a real conversation between a prospective girl and my aunt
Girl: I know how to cook and blah..blah..blah. I can make lots of nice things and take care of the house
Aunt: Oh! That’s nice.
GIrl: I have a condition though. I want to bring my dog and cat to live with me when I move after marriage.
Aunt: Sure. Brother likes pets, so it shouldn’t be a problem. You can ask him too. He lives in the US. So I am not sure how things are there.
Girl: Oh Ok. I will. Thanks. So where will you live then?
Was she effin serious..I don’t know. All I know is he is ready to give up and become a monk. It is sad though. Have we as human beings become so fixated on the material, physical and superficiality that we forget that the person inside? Has everything become about how much a person earns, what job they do, what brand names they own, how they style themselves, what car they own and where they go in terms of parties? If so, it is sad reflection of ourselves. I am no spiritual, look within philosopher, but atleast I know when to draw the line between say matching my stars and matching my wits with prospective men..