You know how during weddings, engagements, random gathering of family for XYZ’s poonal, seemandham, no intentional gathering….people often get together and share these rib breakingly funny stories. I love those moments. It is that moment when your nine yard wearing grandmother, chewing betal leaves in her toothless mouth breaks into this story about some ancestor that seems so preposterous and funny, it has to be true. All the ladies lying around as if they were in some beach in Paris and the men in some corner room fully fed, watered and guffawing. I am far away from home, and father away from any gathering, but here are some fun facts and funnier stories from my side.
My cousin once jumped from the first floor onto a concrete floor because someone dared him to!
My mother once drove our 35 year old jeep onto a farmland claiming she was learning to drive.
Another time she was going around on a two wheeler and froze when a bus came in front of her. She went and eased the vehicle onto a wall. Needless to say she has never driven one since.
I once borrowed a scooty from my neighbour to test drive it around the neighbourhood and was made to write “I will not drive another’s vehicle again” a 100 times. I never let my father forget that one.
When all 6 of us cousins got together our favourite games were hide and seek and 6 corners. Once while playing hide and seek, my brother the seeker went missing. So we went in to drink our milk and continue the game. The dude was sitting on the table, smile on his mouth and 6 tall empty glasses of milk in front of him.
I was once mistaken for a boy in ooty and ogled at. Unfortunately my friend saw that one and has never let me forget it.
I have another cousin who is a walking disaster. He is 21 and so far he has been nicked by an angry bull, pecked by a cock, beaten by a mad women, fallen off a guava tree, broken his wrist on a wash basin, fallen while playing shuttle and broken his arm in two places, broken his leg, broken his other arm, fallen of a couch scared when the light went off and nicked his head, broken his foot. Security personnel have nightmares when he walks into an airport.
I have two cousins who fed one piano master white vinegar thinking it was lemonade scaring him away and perhaps scarring him for life. I have never seen a face go greener faster.
All of us were on a trip once in Calcutta when the driver of our minivan persisted in playing bengali songs loudly inspite of our pleas. Our defense, sing louder everytime. Wonder if he stopped having nightmares of six braying voices braying loudly in Tamil and Hindi.
My brother is responsible for me not eating brinjal. He told me they were fish.
I once convinced my father “Urvasi Urvasi” from the movie Kadhalan was a very meaningful song. I sang him the lyrics of a few lines and he often quotes it to people 😀
I was nicknamed “Pickle” for whatever weird reason in school. The most embarrassing moment was when the school principal used to yell “PICKLE” in front of a full ground of students.
My father and his father are crafty. The former has a big mustache which either earns him a salute wherever he goes or has people mistaking him for one famous movie star. He is more famous for his mustache and jeep than anything else. My grandfather usually gets his way with his beard and yellowish kurtas. He has had people coming in the middle of shops, streets, railway stations, hotels and do namaskaram and ask for kumkum or something or worse, he was once sitting in Rishikesh when two men came and did full namaskaram with my grandmother standing nearby and watching this. he just blessed them and kept chuckling.
What are some of your stories?